**************************************PART 1***************************************
SPM Levels
Hokkien Exam Paper
Instructions:
1. Read the passage carefully
2. Grade yourself with the grading system at the end of the passage after reading.
3. Not that difficult, chin chai do lah !
Section A: Orrler Exeminetion (60 marks)
Question:
Singalella why become rich ?
Koo zhar wu chee ay char bor kia, Singalella. She got two sisters, but the stepmarder and the sisters all damn kuai-lan, so she quite zhia-lat oso. Last time Singalella got own maid, but now she become the amah. Everyday must cook lah, clean lah, simi sai mah bao-kah-liao. If her sister say liak kar zhuak, she liak.
Tak jit zho kah tau-hin. EPF poon boh. But then, kay piak eh ah-pek got one son call Ah Ming got party. So he say, 'oeh, long chong lai ah.' Singalella very happy because she never go party before but then her step-marder say, 'Lee Mana eh-sai kee, this one bahru lu eh sisters wu standard.' Then Singalella must zho sui-sui for her sisters and step-marder. Tap pai how, buay zhia, buay koon and buay pang-sai.
That night she only can wave bye bye and then she go back to the kitchen and cook Maggi mee. Her neighbour came over and ask, 'Eh, an-zhua lu boh kee party?' So Singaalella kong, 'I-wan, lau-bu kong buay-sai, so boh pian.' She never expect but the neighbour say, 'Aiyah, kee lah, I give you money.' So singalella brush teef and zhang-zhui, chen-kor, after that look very different. She quickly run to opposite of the beh-chia-lor, already 11 o'clock.
At the party, Ah Ming also quite sian because the char bor all boh sui one. Dance floor even got one ah pek dancing. Just as Ah Ming told himself, 'Aiyah see-pay zhia-lat', Singalella came in. Ah Ming straight away lau nuar.
'Wah-lau eh, see-pay heng ah, chee kor buay pai.'
Ah Ming say to Singalella, 'eh, sui eh, wah ai kah lee zho flen!'
Singalella say ok but Ah Ming like octopus, touch here touch there. But then just it was 12 o'clock, one ah pek die on the dance floor. He become ghost and tell Singalella all the good 4D number. So after that Singalella quickly go and buy 4D, and then tiok tau-pio, zhit-pak ban. So she pay back the kay-piak eh lau-kay-poh and then kah kee cho sen-lee. Simi kuan eh sen-lee wah mana eh zhai.
Section B: Grades - Gauge Your command of Hokkien....
A1. Can understand the story and pronounce Hokkien correctly.
Hokkien eh sai, bo beh zao.
A2. Can understand half story and/or cannot pronounce Hokkien properly.
zhia lat
E8. Don't understand story and/or catch no ball.
leow leow, mai ka lang kong you is Hokkien Singabolean
F9. Don't understand rating.
kee see lah, wah mana eh zhai lee kong simi?
***************************************PART 2**************************************
TAKE A LOOK AT THE PICTURE.
WHAT DO YOU SEE?
CHECK THE EXPLANATION BELOW.
YOU'LL FIND THIS VERY INTERESTING.
You saw a couple in an intimate pose, right?
Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot
identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory
associated with such a scenario.
What they WILL see, however, is the nine dolphins in the picture!
So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child... now...
If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupt and you probably need help.
Hmmm... Am wondering who has the most corrupted mind... wakakaka~
***************************************PART 3**************************************
Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.
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Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father!
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Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.
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Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?
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A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.
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Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love
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Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born
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Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.
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Teacher : Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
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Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son : That's why I say she's no good!
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Teacher: 'Where were u born?'
Student: 'Singapore, Sir.'
Teacher: 'Which part?'
Student: 'All of me, Sir.'
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A teacher was asking her class: 'What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?'
Only one hand shot up.
'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher.
''unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle.'
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Teacher: 'How come you do not comb your hair?'
Ah Kow: 'No comb, Sir.'
Teacher: 'Use your dad's then.'
Ah Kow: 'No hair, Sir.'
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A boy came home from school with his exam results.
'What did u get?' asked his father.
'My marks are under water,' said the boy.
'What do u mean 'under water'?'
'They are all below 'C' (sea) level'
***************************************PART 4**************************************
And finally.... The LAMEST of the many many jokes....
Cha Siew Pau & Maggi Mee
One day, cha siew pau and maggi mee had a big fight. Maggi mee beat cha siew pau up until it had bruises on its pau body.
Cha Siew Pau loose the fight and went back to tell all the pau family;- Kaya pau, tau sa pau, curry pau, and etc.
So together, all the paus went to find maggi mee for revenge.
On the way... they met Spaghetti.. so all of the pau ran to Spaghetti and BEAT the hell up on Spaghetti that Spaghetti cant say a word,
Spaghetti then scream... 'what did I do? I don't even noe you all'..
Then the cha siew pau say..
'HEH! MAGGI MEE! Don't think I can't recognize you after you do REBONDING!!'
*************************************THE END*************************************
Haven't laugh yet?? Give me face laaa.... Laugh a while oso no harm baa....
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